The Tub of Tears

So, I had to have a shower about half an hour ago. I was and still am very upset about what happened earlier and I am devistated. I showed with a little dim light on because it seemed more like the mood. I turned on the water and suddenly my eyes just filled up with tears. I tried to smile to hold them in, but I can't even do that anymore. So, I just started crying. I got in the shower and began doing all the normal things I do in the shower. I know you do not want to know what I do in the shower, so let's skip that. I just kept crying and crying and it got harder and harder. I felt broken down and hopeless. The bath was like a tub of tears! I was crying until I was done putting static-free hair spray in my hair after getting out and drying off and putting on lotion. So, then I grabbed Oatmeal Bear and hugged him tightly and said "Your my best friend" it reminded me of the girl me and Lucas saw at the swimming pool yesterday. She was at least 15 years old and she carried a doll with her. Me, Riley and Farkle were laughing but Lucas told us to not make fun of her, there is clearly a reason she has that doll. She doesn't have it for no reason, maybe she had it because it had special value or memory or somethin' like that. So, I understand that. Oatmeal Bear walked through every step of life with me since I was 2 years old and he has never betrayed me once. I know, it's a teddy bear, but I hug it sometimes and remember that he was in that crib with me when I was 3 and I looked out that window. He was there with me when I first wrote "Mommy, don't you love me?" when I was 5 years old. He was with me when my dad stopped sending me stuff and I held him every night. It doesn't matter how old you are, it doesn't matter what it is, some people have different things that mean things to them. It's no reason to make fun of a person. I love Oatmeal Bear, being the only one who has never betrayed me, not for my mother, not for my father, not for Riley, not for anyone. I know it's a teddy bear and cannot talk or even make it's own choices, but it's mine, he's been there through everything. I cried all shower time tonight and I am devistated that he's all I have. Devistated...