I May Or May Not Have Just Lost Everything I Stand For

Yes, I know that is a very long title. But it's true. I may or may not have just lost everything I stand for. What do I stand for? Friendship. I stand for having friends and knowing you have someone to lean on. By posting my previous post "The Unforgivable Pattern" I may have just lost everything I stand for. I posted that and I meant it. I really did, but it may have cost me me dignity. And everything else. That's just freaking great. Well, actually. I lost everything EXCEPT my diginty. I didn't accept an apology from someone who hurt me 9 million times over. If I would have, I would be disrespecting myself. Letting people treat you like a worthless piece of nothing, is disrespecting yourself and your diginty. I lost my best friend. I lost my shoulder to cry on. I lost the person to talk to. I lost my daily routine. I lost what happens in our show. I lost the only person I talk to. I lost the only friend I ever really had. I lost my support. I lost the person who told me I'm not okay. I lost that all. That big paragraph. But I didn't lose the most important thing, my dignity. My right not to give into peer presure and not forgive those who do not deserve it. I still have self-respect (when not looking at how I think of myself) and I still have dignity and I still have a choice. I still have the oppertunity to be-friend someone who won't do this to me. I still have that. What really matters in life. God knows and he puts people in my life who are meant to be there. I shouldn't be afraid to let go because if Riley's really meant to be in my life, God won't let her go. And if she isn't, then I shouldn't make a sweat trying to win her over. That is how it works and I may or may not have lost everything I stand for. I am going to find out.