Am I Crazy!?

Okay, so I still cannot believe what I just did. I don't know why I don't regret it as much as I thought. I spent my whole History Class ignoring Mr. Matthews and learning how to accpet this because it won't work no other way. So, but I also decided to make other alterations. I cannot be Riley's best friend anymore. She wrote a nice blog post about me, and then replaced it with a nasty one. So, I cannot even be her friend anymore. I will hangout with Lucas, Auggie and Farkle. Her and I just can't be friends anymore. Papa-Tom said that I am making a wise choice by ending my long-term friendship with Riley. So, that is the smart thing to do. It is the last thing I want to do. Really...but I felt like I was bluffing about that. I still wanted her to be my friend and I wanted it to be how she expected it to be when she wrote her previous nice post about me (she deleted and replaced with a worse one) and I wanted it to be just like that. It's not...My plan was to accept what she wants and just threaten our friendship, but not actually mean it. Then after I gave her what she wanted, and then I told her that I don't wanna be her friend anymore, she said "Okay!" like she was happy. She said she didn't wanna be my friend for the past week. She admitted that. But she didn't know that ending our friendship, I didn't mean any of that. I'm not crazy!! Well, that answers the question of the title. I didn't mean it...now I'm all alone, sitting here in this library, gripping my own hand and trying to prevent myself from crying right in the middle of the John Quincy Adams Middle School library. I didn't mean it...I didn't, I thought that me bluffing and threatning to end it, it would upset her. I guess our friendship meant nearly nothing compared to how much it did to me. Well, that may be what Papa-Tom was trying to tell me. He was right...speaking of him, I need to check my follow up to my follow up to my follow up on my letter to him. Thanks for listening to me, I'm sorry I wasted your time. Come back soon and check up on The 99 Problems of Maya Hart...if you want, which you won't...but whatever that means.