I'm Your Reflection

So, I bet at this point, everyone wants the truth. I want the truth. I only know my truth through internal thoughts. So, I remembered back to Thurday, back to Library class, back to last night and back to sports medicine class. I had unusual thoughts and hopes in history class today. Well, so a couple nights ago, the night that Riley's uncle was coming, I was normally sitting here. Farkle and Me, and Riley and Lucas teamed up and we once again, were fighting as usual. We were on the wii and me and Riley were in the middle of a song, I don't remember what song. I suddenly felt a not-too-hard smack up against the back of my shoulder. I turned to Riley with a shocked and mad look on my face, like it was her. I was shocked that Riley would actually attack me. My mouth was dropped open, I was staring at her like she did something very wrong. "That was Lucas!" she cried. I looked over at Lucas who definently did do it. I didn't say anything, I just kept that look on my face, like I did with Riley. Then we kept on playing the wii. Honestly, I didn't even think about it really. I just thought that it was really no big deal. Then a little bit later, we were on the couch and I was sitting in my normal spot, actually where I am this very minute. So, then I said something to/about Riley. A few seconds later, I kinda remembered Lucas hitting me. I didn't put much thought into it. But then like 5 seconds later, he hit me again, harder and more meaningful, he clearly thought before he did it this time. "Yeah, okay!" I said like it wasn't a big deal. "I gotta go do something" I said getting up and going into the bathroom. Tears rushed down my face and I was crying my eyes out, how could he do that to me? I wondered. Adventually, I remembered Riley's uncle was coming and this act would not do. So, I cleaned up and went back out like it was no big deal. Then ever since, I started hitting people all the time and it just came natural and I feel like it is okay to hit people now. Truthfully, I look up to Lucas. I always felt like he was a good influence on me and I wanted to be as well-behaved as he was and I wanted to be like him, I did. So, because he hit me, ever since it just hits my mind that it is okay to hit people. Today in gym, my friend was telling the teacher her push-up score and she got one off the passing mark and she decided to cheat and give it to herself anyway. "You can't do that!" I cried, hitting her. We both started attacking each other and hitting each other. It just came natual that way. I just hit people regularly now. I look up to Lucas and if he can hit people, so can I. He taught me to be that way and I want to be like him, so if he can hit people, especially a girl, so can I. So, I just don't know why my head tells me it's okay, it just does. So, check back on The 99 Problems of Maya Hart again soon!