Purposely Painful

Okay, so I guess this is kind of took me down a harsh road. She keeps breaking me. And until Riley stops with stupid Jenaya, I am the broken girl, not her. She just keeps on hurting me and hurting me and hurting me, enough to make me sick. She knows it hurts me and that's why she does it. She is making me mental!! Mental, I tell you! I am reading things and looking at things that are only hurting me. I am making this purposely painful. I keep reading her blog post about replacing me. I keep reading "The Replacement Story" I wrote on blogger and submitted to ElderWisdomCircle. I look back on things I know I'll never get back. Best friends forever, that stupid song only represents Jenaya. I HATE that girl. With a capital EVERY LETTER! Like that, see, I'm tense. I'm gonna have to go to Farkle or something! I don't know what I am going to do. She knows how much I've been through and she's still gotta make it worse. So, I don't see how she could do that to a person, nevermind a person with not even parents to run to! I could NEVER be such a friend. Sure, I pushed her into a fence today. But she hit me at least 5 times before that. I was getting tired of it and I couldn't help but pushing her back. I mean, you can see why right? I don't know what I am going to do. I just might have to just literally run away. I'm literally just going to leave this house and not come back. I am clearly not wanted here and I am TIRED of being replaced. TIRED OF IT. I hate that stupid, stupid Jenaya. I might just actually go lay the smack on that woman. I'm actually thinking about it. I can't be in a house with her. I just can't. Oh, great. There she is now. Ignoring it. Well, I am just leaving. I can't be in this environment. No matter what she says, after reading that blog post, that she cheated on me (in a friendship-ish way) with Jenaya today, I cannot trust her. I cannot. No matter what. As long as I can't see them, I will not trust her. She will never have me trusting her like that again. Ever. I'm eating dinner and I am going. I may go to Farkle and see if he can help me. If not, I will be by myself and I will be fine. I've been out there until 11:26pm, when I was 9 years old and if I can do it at 9, I can do it again at 12. So, here we go again. Nowhere to go. Well, I have playgrounds. That won't last long...Oh, well. I'll deal.