What Goes Up Must Come Down, Maya

Hey Blogger, so anyone recognize the title of this post? If not, you likely haven't seen my show. I said this in the 10th episode, Girl Meets Crazy Hat. Except I said it to Farkle, I said "What goes up must come down, Farkle" but today it is "What goes up must come down, Maya" and you'll understand why soon. So apparently Penny's going back to LA, very likely, after what I heard I can't let her stay. So I kinda discussed it with her online and she said say "If I were to leave" which means that she isn't doubting it. So then last night, Riley forced me to play the wii, it didn't seem that bad, so I decided to go. She never talked to me, never even looked at me. She was clearly going back to this negativity phase and I literally had tears in my eyes at some points. I couldn't blink or move my eyes at all, scared that tears were gonna start rushing down my face. And during that moment, I didn't want her to know at all, actually. Then Mr Matthews came down when we scooted by the song, 4x4 by Miley Cyrus, that's his favorite song  and it made me smile, I wanted to laugh but I didn't know how to make a word after Riley. I was smiling and I actually couldn't stop if I tried because it was just so spitit-lifting and unexpected it made me so happy. Everytime he said something, I was smiling and I had to. The minute he stopped, I just felt terrible again. Then at bedtime, the minute Riley shut off the light, I started crying, tears rushed down my face faster than the Titanic sunk. I really wanted Auggie at that moment, I missed the little soul so badly that minute. "I wish it was just me and Auggie so badly" I thought exactly. I tried my darn best to cry as motionless and quiet as I can, not that Riley would've done something if she knew and that was most of the reason I actually didn't want her to know. I didn't wanna become sure that she wouldn't give a rip, that she wouldn't care. Then I finally wanted to know for sure if Penny was leaving so I asked. "How should I know?" she responded. Here we go, I thought. The negativity was beginning, I could hear it. I could feel it, I knew it. Soul-crushed, I had enough problems. I was actually currently dealing with something very hard, Sarah's rehab process, my memory of my birthday and everything like that. "Please let's not do this. We were doing so good. My family issues, my episodes issues became my biggest problem, again. It was going so good, we even got rid of the boys and girls challenge like that. You were doing so well, I was almost feeling sorry for what I did to you, almost." I thought this all in my head as other discussion was passed through the conversation. Adventually, we started talking about something disturbing that came up in my history class. Then we got scared and smudged up against my side of the bed. Riley apologized for giving me no room, but it should've been me apologizing. Being smudged up against that wall was the second happiest moment of my night, besides for Mr Matthews who made it so I couldn't stop smiling. Then the next morning, I got out of bed and tried to show no affection, no care for Riley whatsoever. Me being me, I failed and gave her back the blanket I dragged out when I tried getting out of bed. Then the morning continued as regular, she came down and we spoke no words. Then when I went upstairs, all alone, to get dressed I stood by the lightswitch in Auggie's room where I keep all my stuff and leaned my head against the side wall. I felt like I was about to cry, it was dark, I was alone, I didn't care if it happened or not. Then I realized I was wasting my time, so I turned on the light and looked straight at the "Happy 14th Birthday Maya Hart" sign on the wall and started crying so hard, seeing all of that and all the trouble they went through for me. I picked up Riley's birthday wish letter and read it to myself, I cried so hard. Adventually, I heard Mrs Matthews coming so I wiped my face and continued getting dressed. When I went downstairs again, shortly after Riley went upstairs and I sat on the couch and started crying. Auggie came in and stood in front of me. "What's the matter?" he asked. "Penny's probably going back to LA, Riley's not even there for me anymore, she's only negative again" I cried. Auggie stood there and watched me for what seemed longer than I realized. He plopped himself beside me. I looked over at him with tears rolling down my cheeks. "You and me" Auggie said. I smiled, sniffled and wiped away my tears, as more kept rolling down. "Thanks Augg" I said smiling. I hugged him and tried not to cry. I tried to tell myself I wasn't alone. That's why this post is called "What goes up must come down, Maya" because it went up, we got better and then it came down again. It must at some point, apparently. I have school today and I can get through that best I can. So thanks for reading and check back on The 99 Problems of Maya Hart.