But Nobody Did.... (Post Version)

Hey Blogger, so I just did a page called "But Nobody Did... (Page Version)" and I put it on pages for a reason, but I can still discuss it in a way that doesn't spill out all the information in a post. So I once heard that people deserve to love the ones that stay. It was more specific, discussed in the page version. So "[I] can't get to close to someone who just leaves" (BTW, square brackets mean that the original word of the quote was changed to what is in the brackets). The original quote was "I can't let Maya get close to someone who just leaves" and so I changed it so it was from my perspective. It's just Auggie caring for me, while being surrounded by people who are purposefully ignorant of my discouragement. Auggie stays, he cares. Penny and Riley stay but they are purposefully ignoring my sadness (in a sense that makes sense to people dumber than me). They don't care, never asked what's wrong once. And no, that's fine. I'm totally unaware of it, except for the fact that I realized it 2 days ago and I just said it. Oh so wait, maybe it's well on my mind. So why should other people get to love the people who matter to them and have them stay? Everyone else should have their Auggie and that's it. Riley can have Lucas or whoever, Penny can have Amy or Bernadette and that's fair. So I wanted to go home, but Auggie did point out that that could set everything clear and I'll be well aware of whether this was an accident or not. "If you go, you'll know for sure. That could fix everything or make it worse, are you willing to go there?" Auggie quoted. I wasn't ready to throw away the chance that this could all be one big misunderstanding, so I decided to stay and ruin my field trip tomorrow. I don't care about my looks, I don't care about showering tonight, I don't care about anything. It's just me, Auggie and my computer. I will see my classmates and people at Auggie's house like I have to but no positive renforcement will come out of it. I'll just keep on dying inside until I do realize it's been so long there is no misunderstanding at all except for the fact that I am misunderstood. Nobody gets me, but it doesn't matter because nobody cares. What's the point? I've lived too much life for the past 14 years and I should've known that I got lucky. People say "If you could do [blah blah blah] for a day..." and guess what? I got my day, I got my wish. I had one day that was all I wanted and it was January 16th 2015, my birthday. And then it was it. Even Riley returned to her ab-normal self when that day was over. It was only just a dream. My field trip is ruined, as my life. I have Auggie who tries to make it better but the kid's underage, even for me and I'm 4 years underage. He can't fix anything, he doesn't get it. But who does? Who cares? I'm not gonna sit around and care when nobody else does. This world's got a problem and why should I be the only one it matters to? I can't change the world. The ratio is 1:7 billion. Me against 7 billion people. I can't change a thing, I give up. I am a Clutterbucket, I give up and I don't care who knows it. Little Miss Maya Clutterbucket, that's who I am. We see that the rest of the world is gone and we are too little of a portion of this world to change a thing and then we give up. Well that's where I'm at now. I've already realized, I'm 1:7 billion people, I can't change and thing and this is where I give up. Right here, right now. Thanks for reading and enjoy your life, I'm sure it's better than mine.