Maya's HUGE Regret (I Almost Regretted This Post)

Okay, so I do not know what I just ALMOST did and why I almost did it. Actually, I know why I almost did it, but I still can't believe I almost did it. So yeah right now I am listening to Demi Lovato - Gift of a Friend, the 19th song in my own playlist. Some of you might see where this is going, others may be clueless. If your Pyscho, then you know excactly what I am talking about because you are pyscho and you have probably read every post on this blog....backwards and forwards. So anyway, I am listening to Demi Lovato, the song I already named, my song. So I listen to it because it is actually a good song and EXTREMELY representative. So Riley being the worst ex-best friend I've ever had and being so unlike her in the way that she is a jerk to me and actually cares about a ding-dang hamster more than me and less stupid, but still kinda stupid, she cares about Auggie more than me. So I can see her basically just letting herself go, she doesn't want to be with me or anyone else. She acts negative and miserable because of it and clearly her every value has gone down. So as I am listening to my Demi Lovato song, I see her song Best Friends Forever on results when the song is done, as it always is, I just never told you guys (I don't think) because it is not really important. So I was realizing the lesser value in her and everything she values went from 5/10 to about 3/10 and I realized she could hardly care less about her stuff, definently more than she used to. So I think, if she don't care maybe I should listen to her stupid song, just even for 5 seconds. So then I re-think it and call myself crazy. I realized it would completely ruin her forever and she would be done with me for good, no matter what I did or said, so I decided not to. I am still regretting even thinking about it. It is not that I care about her, no not at all. I couldn't care less about her negative gutts. I just don't wanna lose myself and the 13% normal her she is, and I just want my episodes life back, so why oh why would I do that. Her feelings, I have no care for. I just care about losing myself. I always thought I cared soooo much about her, I just don't wanna lose my episodes life. I hate the now non-episodes life. Why would I wanna keep it like this? I don't, so I just didn't listen to it because it happens to be her most episode-like song she has, I mean not all of hers are ab-normal, I would say most of them are normal. I mean the only one more normal than Best Friends Forever is Take on The World, which I mean, come on, duh. The least normal is Matthew West and I don't know what else, I don't even know the names of the majority of her songs. I am still completely regretting almost doing that, I didn't thank the heavens. I just keep replaying Demi Lovato 10 seconds before it ends so I just keep listening to it. So maybe I should change songs from Demi Lovato, a similar topic song and go to my other song I put under a similar representation topic, I Will Be by Avril Lavigne. So yeah! Better idea. So I still can't believe I almost did that. I would never ever think of that again. I learned my lesson. For sure. Never even an idea. One of the reasons it's better for me to take control because I can know how all those stupid songs go, even though I never put any thought into it really. So I am still regretting it, like it is the biggest regret of my life. Good news, I don't care about Riley as much as I thought. I care about my episodes, not her. I actually drafted this post and then published it again over and over, wondering if I should publish it. So, maybe that won't be my biggest regret, making this post will. So thanks for reading and check back again soon!